Tuesday, December 8, 2009


I'm back to civilization! Well, on Sunday actually...but I was lazy to update. Heh. Carlag. You know? I mean, you have Jetlag for planes.....and Carlag for...cars. Okok...that's lame. =)

Recap of what I did recently.
5th December - Cousin's Wedding at Sri Aman
6th December - Come back for Sri Aman
7th December - First Dance Class
8th December - Clean House

As you can see, lately I've been domesticated. Reason being so is that I am bored and I want to do something else other than playing Facebook games all the time. Facebook is getting boring anyways. Plainly because I've been at it most of my time. It is time to learn and do useful things. I'd like to blog about my cousin's wedding some other time. As I am lazy to upload the pictures of it. But I'd like to blog about yesterday's dance class.

Well, I have had in mind to learn dance for a long time. The reason why I only started now was because I wanted to see if I was really eager and whether I can cope. But since I have the desire for almost half a year now, I decided to give it a try. Anyway, I need a place to vent my urge to dance in a club. I really don't wana go clubbing, even if I do like it. Because it doesn't benefit me. Dance lessons will be a great way to do it. Anyway, I could use some workout. My stamina's bad. Real bad since I left the Marching Band scene.

I'm taking my Modern Jazz dance lessons at Studio 23. Results? My whole body ached today! It was a really good workout! Cos the choreography involved almost the whole body. Especially the butt area. It's great for having a really good posture too. The moves is just what I wanted as well. Hee....very cool and yet not too sensual. It's the kind of dance that they use in Musicals and Broadway.

Too bad I can't take pics....Studio 23 doesn't allow that. But that's ok. I'm really enjoying it! =D

Friday, December 4, 2009

Another Day...

Ahh....gona be away from civillization tomorrow. Boohoo.

Hmm....what have I been up to besides going through my closet? Went out with my dearest beloved on Wednesday. =D
It was a great night. It was the first time we went out that we really dolled up. Hahaha..... It's too bad we forgot to take a picture though. Cos all these while we would be in t-shirt and jeans and sneakers.

There is one thing I do not like about going on a date to spring is that we'll meet people we know. And when you want to keep things a little low profile, you just can't at going to tHe Spring. Problem is, all the good stuff is there! And movies! So I guess I'll just have to endure it and mind my own business. It feels weird for me. Hehe... Well, time to get used to it.

But still....I am not looking forward for tomorrow.. >.<"

One Too Many

A few days ago, I decided to clean out my closet. Lo and behold, I have a lot of clothes. Too many, I should say. Felt a pang of guilt for being so greedy...always wanting more clothes. So I tried to decide which to keep and which to give away. After sorting, I still have too many clothes. -.-" And the pile that I didn't want, was a lot. Sighs. I guess I'll have to sort it again. These kind of things can really make me bingong. So much clutter. Anyway, instead of keeping it and letting it go to waste, why not bless other girls my age who don't have this kind of luxury? I was considering of selling some since it's still in good condition and still 'in'. I did say that I might want to open up an online store but...we'll see. If I have potential clothes to sell, then why not. Need cash to buy new clothes anyway. =P

Behold! My basketful of clothes!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

So Waddya Think?

So what do you think of my new layout?

Please drop your comment on Speak Your Mind.

The comment box seems cacat-ed.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

What I've Learned

It's been almost a week since my exams ended and I still haven't posted anything. Hahaha......

Well, I'm gona put the thought of my results aside and focus on making myself better.

This semester, I learned a lot actually. Especially about people. I learned that the people around you may be nice to you but behind your back, they say bad things about you. But I also learned that true friends defend your name when those things said about you weren't nice. And I also learned to be nice to people that have said bad things about me. Which in turn, made me win the war that I have never started.

But it did affect my self-esteem though. It took me back to when I was Form 5, the worse of my secondary school years. Anyways, the person that said bad things about me was my classmate back in Form 5. Weird thing is, he's a guy. Talk about man-bitch much! The worse part is, he's my lab partner. Sometimes it made me wonder, if you want me to change, why don't you just say it straight to my face? I guess he had no balls to do that. Instead, he told another girl who is his best friend and I thought she was nice but apparently wasn't and she said not-so-nice things about me. Too bad for her, the people she said stuff bout me were my friends, who knows me well. And the funny thing is, I'm not close to her.

Why say bad things about other people when you barely even know them?

Which is a lesson for me too. Always give a person a chance and have your own opinion of that person rather than believing what people tell you.

No wonder every time I am with that group of people, I feel so uncomfortable. My gut feelings were right. Those people, behind the facade of smiles, lies a black heart. Guess I'm not fit enough to fit in? I'm an awkward piece of puzzle. Those people is the group you would die to fit in. Seriously. They look like a bunch of nice people. Friendly....

But whatever.
I never do fit in actually.
Because I always want to be different.

To say they are a hypocrite?
I'm one too.

To say they're fake?
So am I.

So what I did was just buat 'dek' and be nice.
That's all I can do.
Better I
buat tak tauk than to make a scene. Cos I don't like getting attention. Especially the wrong kind of attention. I have a reputation to maintain.
The reputation of my Lord and King.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I can smell freedom. It is near......

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Turning Over A New Leaf

Hello people! =)

I've been on a long hiatus. Sorry about that. I thought that I could focus more without blogging. Alas, it didn't work. Haha.....=P

Well, at this point, I know it's too late for regrets and sorts but I have to say it out. I shouldn't have continued to degree straight one month after my Foundation studies. My results were out one or two weeks before the start of the semester and there was so limited time to evaluate which Engineering I wanted to take. But I felt a strong inclination towards Mechanical Engineering. However, the study mode just isn't there from the start cos my 1 month break before that didn't feel like a break at all. And so, right now, I regret not taking my time to continue studying. Cos I thought I would be left behind if I did. Kiasu ma. I felt that it would be shameful to be in a class with people a year younger than you. Then again....when I think about it, being left behind is no necessarily a bad thing. It is a lot more shameful when you didn't do well. I should have listened to my gut feelings but now it's too late. I wasted money AND precious time. *Sighs*

I was thinking of changing course....then again, I still feel that I want to continue doing Mechanical Engineering. I just want to do it again. Get a new start. Starting over isn't always a bad thing. Why the sudden regret? Well, just I was confronted by Halil, a classmate of mine since Foundation. He was like "Chris, kenak ku nangga kau macam x mok blajar jak.. Kau jarang masok class semua ya....nang lain bha. Last sem ko rajin masok class...pa kes tok?" Kinda struck me there for a second. I mean, I know I've been slacking and all....and I've been telling myself where my flaws are. But some things need to come from another person's mouth for a better realization. So I just told him that I've been slacking this semester. Seriously...my grades are getting worse. Seems like I don't want to study at all. All that money wasted. But I'll make sure next semester will be better. Like my old self. =) Maybe even better! =D

There's tonnes of things I wana do next holiday. The great thing about Swinburne is that, you study for 3-4months and you have 3 months' break. So I'll be on holiday for 3 months, yay! Cos exam starts next Monday and ends next Wednesday. We can say that one week from now, is my freedom from studying. Yay! Hehe....

The first thing I'd like to do is de-stress. I have been working my ass off this year. That there's been too many things going on and so, it is time for me to re-evaluate my life and say no to certain things. Because the hols after my Foundation studies was occupied with church events which took up a lot of my time and energy and brain power. Up till now, there was no break at all for me. It is time for a break. I've been overworking myself to the point where I became indecisive which is unlike me. So there are some things that need to be fixed.

This holiday will begin with relaxation and rejuvenation. Maybe retail therapy will go after that because I have been saving up my money for the next sales. Yay! =D Time to spend my money wisely and start saving for my future. There are things that I wana do with my money in future. I do hope that I will be on my way to develop my skills in drawing. I dream of becoming a fashion designer. And so, I have to take the initiative to develop my dream. I'm currently modifying a vintage dress that I bought last year for RM5 to make it more current and more figure flattering. So these are some of the things I'm gona do.

Apart from that, I wana help my mom do cooking cos I really miss cooking. =) And I wana learn more complex stuff from her. Since in the future, I will be a wife and a mother someday, I must be able to do these things. I wana clean the house, do some baking...argh.....there's so many things I'd like to do! I wonder whether 3 months is enough. Don't forget to add in procrastination and laziness as well in that time frame. ;-)

I shall start over. I shall fix myself. I shall be better.

Come what may for this semester's result, I'll have to not care. Because I didn't put in the necessary effort anyway. I just want to start over on the right foot, that's all. =)

But I need to make sure my GPA's a minimum of 2.00 for Yayasan Sarawak to continue funding me.
How hard can it be to achieve that?

It's great being optimistic.

That's all for now!
Remember, starting over isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Oh yeah, I wana start dance lessons at Studio 23.
Modern Jazz dance, here I come!

Time to release all that stress through sweat!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Remorse and Regret

I seriously have anger management issues. Not proud of it. But gotta admit it. The first step to be released of something is to confess it and then repentance. Anger consumed me and I acted out. Didn't think straight. Didn't think of the ripples of my actions. Now those close to me are hurt. Come to think of it, haven't been thinking straight lately. Too much going on...too much. I shall apologize to everyone. Really I am. I'm such a shit right now. It was stupid. Now everything in my perfect world is ruined. All because of one thing. Now people can't look at me the same. Unfair, because it's just one time but I accept it. I accept it no matter what. As a punishment for my wrong doings. After this, I shall take a break. Yes, a break is what I need. To settle personal issues. To let go of ALL the pent up stress for this 3 month's time. And for people to just forget about me. If only someone could just ask me how's my day...and allow me let out what's bothering me...perhaps, none of this would have happened. It IS my fault and I'm sorry but sorry does not change things. Kill me then if you hate my face so much. I'd rather you do that than for me to live right now. This pain is agonizing. And forgive me, Lord. What kind of example have I been to You anyway? Then again...I haven't been close with the Lord lately. Probably that is why. At this point of my life...there is too much going on. There are too many things that I worry about. Even little ones. Right now, I'm going to have exams, gotta polish up my assignments and balance everything out. My studies, I'm lagging behind. Far behind. And exam's next week. I'm a wreck at this point. Please, do pray for me. I am weak emotionally, physically and spiritually. It is not a pleasant feeling. Rehab is what I will need. I hope you all will accept my apology. If you don't, then it's fine. Is there anywhere I can run to?

Saturday, November 14, 2009

*jing jing jing jing* such a wonderful sound! Can't wait for it.....can't wait for exams to be over...and then it'll be *jing jing jing jing* oh, wat joyous sound! Hohohohoho.............

Friday, November 6, 2009

I wish I could meet a really good computer programmer right now cos I'd love to ask him/her to do my assignment so that I can submit it tomorrow......ahh......Wishful Thinking.


Thursday, October 29, 2009

Clubbing - Right or Wrong?

So last night I went partying at Barzing for Sonia's birthday. It was the first that I actually partied in a bar and drank Tequila and Sex on The Beach. All paid by Keith. The last time I went with my cousins and I wasn't close to some of them so I didn't really dance and stuff.

Reasons for going Clubbing - Wanna try something new, out of curiosity, wanna dance!, so I can have my own opinion on clubbing.

When I got there, I just feel that I can't dance cos....how can you dance with people you don't really know? In the group, I only knew Sonia and Faisal well. The rest, I just met them so I'm a bit reserved cos you can't just trust people that instant. Plus they're guys and I didn't go with my boyfriend. I don't want to give them the impression that I'm available and it is not like me to throw myself at guys. I don't do that.

After the shot of Tequila, I kinda loosen up a bit and danced. =D I love the dancing part. And I do know how to enjoy myself. And Keith bought Sex on The Beach for Sonia and I. Still I can say that I hate alcohol because 1) it tastes like cough syrup 2) it has a burning and warm feeling inside my tummy that I don't like 3) it's not good for my voice 4) the feeling of getting tipsy is not pleasant. It's not my first time consuming alcohol but still....I never liked it and never will. It still intrigues me why people enjoy drinking it and getting drunk. The feeling is so not nice. Maybe because I like myself the way I am. I dunno.... And I don't think I can ever understand.

After the whole dancing session, we stopped and that's when I realized that I was getting tipsy and at my limit. I know I have to stop drinking. Kinda relieved that it was over then until I heard one of the gang suggested to go for another round at Monster Tongue. I was like "Oh man.....". I couldn't drive for a while cos I needed to get used to the spinning thing going on in my head so I let Sonia do the driving to Monster Tongue. In my tipsy-ness, Sonia asked me if I enjoyed myself and whether I'll be joining them in the future. I just honestly said "No.". Surprisingly I'm very honest in my tipsy-ness. But I have to be honest there and then. I don't mean to ruin her birthday and all....but this thing is not my thing. When we reached Monster Tongue, I just told them "Okay, I'm going home. See you guys!". Come on, I live with my parents! And I'm driving! I can't go home in a drunken state. My mom is cool about me going out late BUT I must not break her trust. If I go home much later AND in a drunken state, I'll be saying goodbye to her trust, goodbye to going out and goodbye car. So after explaining, they understand and let me go.

On my way home, I was telling God to keep me thinking straight while driving cos I need to get home safe and sound. Thank God I did. While driving, I was analysing the whole thing that happened. Honestly, when one of them suggested Monster Tongue, the Holy Spirit kinda prompted me to go back. Cos the moment that suggestion came, "Go back" kept resounding in my head. Also, I decided that though it was fun, I am not going to do this ever again. It's compromising my belief. And I am being among people who don't know God and follow Him. It reminded me of the Isrealites. God commanded them to drive out all the Ammonites, the Jebusites and the Peruzzites but they didn't. The consequences of what they did was they defiled themselves by inter-marrying with those pagan nations and the Isrealites began worshipping their gods. That was why God commanded them to eliminate everything even their children and women, it is so that the Isrealites will not worship other gods. And there I was with people of the world. Now, I may say that there's nothing wrong....I won't get drunk....I won't go over. But I know that if I go on doing this, I will say a different thing. Run from temptation, as said in Proverbs. What I see in there...girls indirectly selling themselves and of course, the excessive drinking and smoking, it is nothing a follower of Jesus Christ do! To continue going there would mean I am compromising and saying 'it's okay'. I do not want to compromise. I do not want to give up my faith. I am willing to stop clubbing and biar jak orang pikir aku tok alim. But I will never give up Jesus for anything. It's not worth it.

The Bible never said "Thou shalt not go clubbing". But I have my own opinion. If you want to go clubbing, go ahead. But I have made my own decision. I will not continue going clubbing. I have many reasons. Well, I guess by now you should know my ultimate reason for not continuing. For Christians, I kind of walking on a fine line and playing with fire. The Devil's all out to take us away from God. So....gotta be careful and make your stand.

Anyway, I can say....it's so easy to do all those bad stuff and get you conscientiousness seared. In one night, I learned all that. And to do what you do, I can do too. But to be a Christian, it's not easy. Stuff like these, I just have to give it up. Cos it's not leading me to the right direction. And I challenge you to be me. It's not going to be easy to take up the cross. I can cheat in my exams if I wanted to and easily too. But I didn't. I could've swindled people and take advantage of them but I didn't. All because of the fear and reverence of the Lord. Fear and reverence is like.....towards your parents. You still obey them because you love them. Same case as this. So....try be me for a day. Can you handle it?

Swinburne Dance Party 2009

Hey guys! How you've been?

A lot of stuff going on but I couldn't blog about em due to crazy internet connection the past few days.

The Dance Party

So last weekend I went to Swinburne's Dance Party. It was fun! But what I didn't like about it is that in the midst of the songs, there will be some people stealing the limelight. Some people will be doing their moves and people would stop dancing and just go around them and watch them do a showdown. But...it's a dance party. EVERYONE should be dancing. EVERYONE should be participating in dancing...not just a few people.

People dancing on stage.

People watching those limelight stealers.

I enjoyed dancing with Mel, Joyce and Sonia. Man....Joyce and Mel can really move! And we don't even need booze to get all crazy and have moves. =]

Oh, and being a Swinburne student, we have a lot of benefits. We get discounts at certain bookstores, we've got the best facilities, great lecturers. And...in the library...you can see people actually studying and doing discussions. Awesome study environment. We even get discounts at certain cafes like 5 Loaves Cafe. Uhm....and that night, they told us that Swinburne students have discounts at Monster Tongue on Friday and Saturday nights. I wonder if it applies to all students but...discounts are discounts.

After the party, I bumped into my friend and she asked me whether I'm going to Monster Tongue after that. Like duh, of course not! I was on my way to Kado. Finally I tried that place. My.....the burgers are huge there! Haha!!! It's my first time eating a burger with fork and knife. I usually use my fingers. But in the end, I used my fingers. I just can't enjoy it eating burgers that way. Some pics while we were there...
My Beef Burger

Faisal taking a BIG bite! xD

Arvin and Faisal tengah suk makan.

JD took this pic.

Really...such an awesome evening spent with friends and my beloved. I love them and I love him so much! Such company is precious. =) Again, love you guys! =D

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

New Toys

I got myself a new toy today! And I'm so totally syked about it that I just gotta tell the whole world!! Today.....I got myself ..................

MAKEUP BRUSHES!! Yahooo...........
I really love the makeup bag that it comes with it.

Got these darlings at Elianto for RM62. It's a lot cheaper compared to The Face Shop. But I believe you can find cheaper elsewhere but I do believe in quality. So Elianto should be alright. I decided that I like doing makeup even more after St. Faith's 40th anniversary dinner. The Youth Ministry did a skit and we did some makeup. However, my tools were limited so I couldn't do much. These tools are to serve me creatively. I really wana venture into stage makeup. And maybe you'll find this blog interesting, Kandee The Makeup Artist . She's got really interesting stage makeup going on there and I'd like to learn more.

More pics of my darling new toys...

My weapon of choice. The Face Brush.
I'ma smack yer zits with it.

As you can see, my photos were not edited. And so, you can see that my face is red and stuff but I don't mind. I shall show you how I really do look like without my makeup. I think I look beautiful just the way I am. And so do you! Also, I didn't change my shirt for this. I know the whole world is watching but there's a lot more important things in this world than to look beautiful....like saving people. That's more important. =)

Monday, October 19, 2009

This Weekend...

So what am I gonna do this weekend? Last weekend I was forced to stay at home to try and complete my lab reports. So no going out that weekend. But this weekend I shall reward myself with going out after this week's load of tests and such. Boo.... I don't wana work.... I wana playy.... Anyway, this weekend, I decided to........ Oh wait. Before I continue. You all know how I like rock music right? Like Paramore and such. Well....guess what I decided to go to this weekend?

Yep...Swinburne's Dance Party!! ROFLMAO!!!

Believe it, I'm going. For the adventure and to hang out with my friends. =)
Non-Swinburnians can come too. Just come to out uni to get it! =D
See ya there!
For those who's going that is..

Sunday, October 18, 2009

To Tingle Your Taste Buds...

Hello all! Hope you had a nice Sunday. My Sunday's great as always, kick start the day with God. And after that fellowship with friends. It never gets old. After church will always be lunch and today, we tried some place new recommended by Aunty Alice. The place is called Kopitiam No.6, located at Jalan Song. We had some claypot stuff and it taste really good. We had Chicken Curry, Lamb Soup and Pork Leg. Yum..yum....

The Chicken Curry...this was my favourite! They added curry leaves to it which made it have that beautiful fragrant that makes me want to eat it!

Lamb Soup

Pork Leg!! We Dayaks must have this...

Later at night, my mom was having the 'Lazy Sunday' syndrome so we went out to eat. Went to Family Cafe at Hui Sing Commercial Centre and had the most amazing meal in the world. Seriously...nothing beats a simple Chinese restaurant serving non-halal dishes. All-in-all, it costs us about RM100++ for 6 people. So that means, RM20++ per person! Couldn't get any better... I remember St. Faith's 40th anniversary dinner at 4 points was terrible! And it's RM45 per person. I can honestly tell you that I can cook a better soup than what they made that day. It was pathetic. Anyways, snapshots of the food....

Thursday, October 15, 2009

I Will Run This Race

I was watching a video given to me by Tommy about Moscow Malaysia Fellowship. And a big thanks to him for showing me that video. Because I was touched and encourage and somehow convicted as well.

Moscow Malaysia Fellowship is a group of Medical students who have a heart for God. That's the simplest definition of it. And one of our youth member, Herman, is studying there and joined this fellowship. They started out small but they had a heart for God. And because of that, their numbers grew and kept growing! I admire such faithfulness and I admire how they love God and how they serve Him...and most of all....how they put God first in their life! As much as it amazes me, I am put to shame as well.

The vid makes me wonder how enthusiastic I really am for the work of God. Makes me wonder why do I keep living for myself when I should go and show and tell people about my God. Makes me wonder how far would I go to saving a life. So many people still have not known this guy called Jesus and are on their way to death....and I'm not carrying out my job to tell them about Him!

Many times, these things would remind me of my Youth Fellowship. How long will we go on like this? Stagnant. Seeing the same faces. How long? It discourage me most of the time. I really wonder how to tell people to come to youth and learn about God. Am I not friendly enough? Maybe. I don't know. At times, I get so burned out, I just wana give up. Like now.....giving up and getting distracted by other things. And fulfilling my selfish desires. I believe there is more to do. But I guess....after watching the video, the question I should be asking myself is.... Is my heart for God in the process? Sometimes, I get complacent. And going to youth or GB is another job for me. Just to attend. It shouldn't be that way! I should be excited! Thrilled to come every week to enjoy the fellowship of my brothers and sisters in Christ! Even if we are few...we shouldn't be discouraged by numbers......

I forgot how it is like to be in a youth fellowship where learning and worshipping God is fun anymore. Being one of the leaders can be mind blowing... Lord, I want that enthusiasm and that love for You like they have...or even better than what they have. Nothing in this world could matter apart from You. And I want You to be my first love! Having You is to have life....my studies....money and fame....brings me nothing but death still. Help me to set my eyes on You and You alone. For You are great...and worthy of ALL praise. I ask that You reignite my passion for You and for Your works that I will not fall. Help me too to not loose sight of You. AMEN!

Monday, October 12, 2009

The Hardest Thing Is To Be Yourself

People say to impress a girl, you gotta go to the most expensive restaurant, the most expensive gifts and all that expensive shit..... But I beg to differ.

Everything is dollars and cents. If you can't afford it, why go to the extent that you're willing to get yourself in a huge debt....And for what? Semata-mata to impress a girl?? Come on!! Reality check please!

If you really love a person and you know that person is still studying (for my age), don't expect too much. And for me, I don't like guys who berlagak want to bring me to Sushi King la Atmosfera la apaka....because I know you can't afford it. You working kah?? Where does your money come from in the first place?? Your dad kan? It's not yours. So don't sebarang spend it like it grows on trees. Your dad worked hard for it and so you must spend wisely. If you earn your own. Well, it's okay. But still, cheaper food tastes a whole lot better than expensive ones.

To me, a perfect lunch (or a perfect dinner) can be at Hui Sing hawker stall eating Kolo Mee/Kueh Chap/Crispy Pork Rice/Laksa etc. Why? First of all, it's cheap. Yes. Dollars and cents do count on dates. Second, not only is it cheap, it's better than any other expensive food. Anyway, is Sarawak delicacy a Spaghetti Bolognaise? No. I believe it is Italian. And so, why eat Italian when you're not even in Italy. Reknowned chefs like Anthony Bourdain hit the streets to get the local and the best cuisine. Not some fancy restaurant. =)

To end this post, I resent guys who impress girls with money. It's pointless. I don't what that from you. I want you to be YOU. Not another plastic stereotype. I may enjoy simple things but I can tell you I don't think in a simple way.


Sunday, October 11, 2009


Don't know what to post since there's no happening yet....so.....I'll just post up my cover on Paramore's We Are Broken for you guys to watch. I'm still an amateur so I hope you don't mind my sloppiness. I ain't that big deal of a singer either. But I still hope you guys like it! =D

Pain Is Just A Simple Compromise

I really don't know if I'm choosing the right path. I really don't know what I'm really good at. I just don't know. Oh God, I hope the thing I do now is what You want me to do. Because I feel lost and I feel that I suck at what I'm doing.

Mechanical Engineering...

Why is it so hard?

Now I'm told that this is life, pain is just a simple compromise.

Anyway, stop being so emo!! Hahahaha......cos I'm not. Just thinking bout my studies is freaking me out! Programming....such a tough subject! Many people fail the subject. And the thought that I may fail too is freaking me out!!! I've been spending way too much time hanging out with friends and my dear beloved. And last week was Swinburne's semester break and I went to campus, kononnya mok study la tek. Check2, I online la...lepak la....main game la...all thanks to Arvin who pestered us to have a CS tournament. And yes. I was a gamer. But I repented from that god forsaken tomboy past.

And so, for the past few days, I kept telling myself to turn over a new leaf. Worked a while then I relapsed into lazyness. And told myself to turn over a new leaf....and it goes on and on. And now, I am finally turning over a new leaf for good.....again. Spent this day trying to study and understand C programming. Like I said to Stephen the other day,"I'ma study..for real this time." Cos I kept bumping into him during semester break and he's been asking "What are u up to?" Kept giving him the answer "I'ma study." But I never did. It was a BIG, FAT LIE. LOL.

My blog skin is so emo looking. Haha! I wana make it more...cheery....just like me. =) Always smiling. But when I'm a sour puss, I am a sour puss. I get both extremes. But I'm more cheerful than I am angry or emo. So the blog has to look like the owner. The again, I don't really have the time to sit down and discover the wonders of Photoshop and make my blog look alive! Sighs...........

Okay, gotta sleep! Promised him I'd be sleeping by 1am.
Haha...such puppy love.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Where is my motivation? =(

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Beauty Is Skin Deep

Okay...let's review my desires in life. =)

1. Trusting God.....check and un-check. Cos at times I do, at times I doubt Him.

2. Be active in Extra Curricular Activities.......un-check. I haven't found a club I'm interested to join.

3. Drive.....check.

4. Meet new friends.....check.

5. Get a scholarship.....un-check. Yet to apply for one.

6. Obtain HDs for all subjects. Un-check....but I got good grades. =D

7. Get a boyfriend?...........check. =)

Being a girl, I like makeup. And I enjoy putting on makeup actually. However, I don't use it to campus. I don't see why I should since I think I look much more beautiful without it on. Anyway, I haven't got the time to put it on. And no, I am NOT willing to wake up early just for that. I am not a slave to beauty. Beauty serves me. Sides, I just use makeup cos I love colours. I put it on as art. Not to give myself the illusion that I am more beautiful putting it on. Of course, I use a little bit of lip balm when I look pale but I don't use any other makeup apart from that. Is lip balm even considered a makeup anyway??

What makes a woman beautiful? Even one of the top makeup artist, Bobbi Brown says that you don't need excessive makeup to look beautiful. And I can honestly tell you that all that makeup can't make you beautiful too. Eat right and being happy is the key to beautiful skin actually. All that Botox is not really helping in reducing wrinkles. Hey, I've seen some of my customers when I worked at a cafe early this year. They work at a nearby beauty parlour and some of them, obviously had a face lift...probably used Botox injections. Some of them, their lips were huge! Obviously not their real feature.... They had eyelash extensions and all that. (which made them look like they have camel eyes.) And some did not have very nice skin and tried putting on a lot of makeup to cover it up. But it didn't work.... All of that was not a pretty sight. (Well, some of them looked extraordinarily beautiful!)

I've had guy friends randomly tell me that they prefer girls without makeup on. (Well, they were looking at this girl who uses heavy makeup to campus.) And I've known these guys long enough to tell you that they are sincere and nice guys. Gentlemen too. And who says gentlemen have extincted? They're just right in front of you! It's just a matter of whether they think you're a decent girl to be with or not. =) And one of those guys happen to by my boyfriend. Consider myself blessed. =) You will also know a guy's a nice guy when they find girls who wear shorts repulsive. Just general...you can try and verify it to see if it works. =P

Anyway, girls...you're beautiful just the way you are. You don't have to wear all that makeup and wear shorts just to get a guy to notice you. Trust me on this. If a guy can love you when you're covered up, he truly does love you for who you are and not what you wear. To get a decent guy, be decent. That's all you need. And it IS worth it to be decent. And yes, I am a happy girl who so happens to have a guy like this. =)

I wana end with this cool verse I found in the Bible about a wife of noble character. Read on. =)

The Wife Of Noble Character

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her women servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate; where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Proverbs 31: 10-31

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The Only Exception

I finally had the chance to sit down and listen to Paramore's new album that I downloaded. Awesome songs I tell ya. And great lyrics. I love this one song, The Only Exception cos it really speaks about me. I actually enjoy being alone and enjoy being single. Only because life is a lot easier that way. No heart aches, no hurts. Just being in my own world and not having to care whether I hurt anyone or got hurt cos there's no one to hurt to begin with. Selfish life but that's how it just is. But it's all changed la.

This is to you, darling. You are my only exception because I love you. =)


When i was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And cursed at the wind
He broke his own heart
And i watched
As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day i promised
Id never sing of love
If it does not exist

But darlin,
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

Maybe i know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Or keep a straight face

And i've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that I'm content
With loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk, but

You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know your leaving
In the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream


You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing.
Oh, And Im on my way to believing.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Back By Popular Demand

Obviously my title sound so....perasan. HAHA!!

Yeah. I decided to start blogging again. Hehehe....and I know my number of readers has dropped exponentially (mathematician's way of saying 'dropped dramatically'). But my purpose in blogging is not to be famous right? (Wrong!)

So my absence is due to my 'rising fame'. Cos I find that there are a lot of people who actually reads my blog (from Malaysia and out of Malaysia) and thank you so much for reading it. It's an honor that people actually do read my rants and find my ideas interesting.

But the thing is.....this....'rising fame' is scary to me. I came to a point in my life where I realize that I am a private person. And the thought of people that I do not know knows something about me. And the thought of some random kid in college go "Hey, you're the author for Scribbles of A Girl right?" scares me. All of this scares me. But the fact that I am blogging right now means that I am giving it a second chance. But of course, I'll only write what people want to read. Nothing so very personal. Maybe a little. Like I said, who would want to read a blog post that's just talking mushy stuff about a guy right? I wouldn't want my dear readers reaching out for a plastic bag and barf all the way. =) I'm too nice to do that.

There's lots going on in my life right now. Am doing my 1st year Degree in Mechanical Engineering. Yay! =( Life just gets harder. And at times, I wonder why I have to do things I don't enjoy to get by in life? It's.....unfair. But what to do? Without money, we can't pursue our dreams. That is a fact.

I met a new friend this semester! Yay! =D Well, I thank God for her because she is truly a prayer answered. =) Because I had a friend in Foundation who is high maintenance. Not in terms of money, but in terms of care. And she has been a burden on me. The only reason why I didn't 'dump' her is because she doesn't really have friends and is constantly having suicidal thoughts. And she's always making me feel guilty. After my Foundation studies was over, I really asked God that she wouldn't continue here in Swinburne but elsewhere. And I asked God for a friend. Better than her. I even gave God the criterias that I wanted in a friend. LOL if you like, but it WORKED. He gave me a friend, though she arrived 3 weeks later. Haha..... God works in amazing ways man.....and guess what? She is everything that I wanted in a friend...sama palak but not so sama. If you get what I mean. =P

Okay, that's all. (Well, not really.)

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Pa Dap Pap Pa Dap Pap Pa Ah.....

Hey there!

Yeah...I know my blog's been stagnant and boring. meh. Blogging's getting boring. Well, not really. Haha. Actually, I've loads of ideas floating in my head and by the time I get to my PC, I just don't feel like sitting down and blog. I just need "THE MOOD". LOL.

Anyway, I logged in just to post a video. It's New Empire's New Empire TV. Watch it closely. =P

Enjoy! (^^,)

Friday, August 21, 2009

I'm having a really bad stomachache since last night. I don't know what's going on but I think it's a gastric. Went online to see the symptoms and turns out that it's not caused by not eating as I thought it was but it's due to an inflamed stomach lining that could be caused by alcohol consumption. So I'm not going to classes today. Good thing I only have a 2 hour lecture today.

I wanted to post something today.....but due to the pain in my stomach, guess not. =/

Saturday, August 15, 2009

I love Chinese Guy

He's right about some stuff. You gotta check this guy out. Warning: Boleh menyebabkan anda terasa sikit. =]


I think Swinburne's boring. Yes. You heard me. The most 'glamorous' college is by far the most boring Uni you could ever go to. The activities that they have like Battle of The Bands...Swin Night...Prom Night..... It's all getting boring. And I can tell you that 80% of the activities (like Swin Night) are like ones where you must dress to kill....music....it's so.....typical. I envy people in Unimas. Unimas seem to have the craziest and lamest but fun activities.. I want that. I might as well transfer to Unimas but........study wise, I still like Swinburne. You know, when I tell people that I'm in Swinburne, they're like "wow...nice....cool! One of the prestigous Uni in Kuching and bla, bla, bla..." All the activities we have...they're more for like the rich people kinda activities. Why can't we have like Malam Kebudayaan ka.....Malam Citrawarna ka....or anything like that. Well, I don't wana join Student Council as I said, people in there are snobs and such. I won't fit in...or....I'll end up becoming like them. No, I won't give up my humanity. I don't want to be yet another typical plastic Swinburne kid.

And don't you think Secret Recipe cakes suck? Well, except for Chocolate Indulgence.... The rest are just not nice. People actually couldn't believe my birthday cake was from Mita and not Secret Recipe. Sorrylarr.....Secret Recipe punya "Moist CHocolate Cake" is so not moist.... I still love Mita's stuff. They specialize in baking. Of course better than Secret Recipe.

And Paramore's Ignorance Official Video is out on MTV!

Monday, August 10, 2009

While everyone's into Lady Gaga......

I'm into Little Boots. I just love the British pop scene like Lily Allen.

Enjoy. =]

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Ol' Times

WOohoo!! I'm going back to band again!! Woohoo!! Im' STOKED!!! This time as Colour Guard. Someone dancing...I know....so weird kan? Hahaha...ME.... Dancing........ But I'm more into throwing those flags. =]

Going back to school again...hahaha........that's gona be fun....and weird. Cos...every other band member will be those still schooling while I might be the only one who's not. The only alumni there.....hmm........ Kinda feel weird cos there would be no one my age to talk to but it's always refreshing to talk to people younger than you......Cos they make you feel young again. HAHAHA....... and then you'll realise you're older and wiser cos they come to you with many problems and you have a 1001 advice to give them. Hahaha....

I know it's gona be really stressful juggling between band and studies cos I'm gona start my Degree real soon...as in, NEXT WEEK!!! WOW....... I really wonder if I can cope. But.....if you were a band member and you have a chance to do it all over again, you would definitely to do at all cost.

I'm not so hard core as compared to last time. If The Cavaliers or Blue Devils win....meh, I don't care nemore. Since I'm no longer in it....it doesn't seem to make me excited anymore, for all I care. All I care is that I am in a marching band and still doing it. Anyway, watching it makes me miss being in a marching band even more! And it makes me fantasize about joining it once again. I definitely didn't want my head to be bubbled up with my imagination. Also, I don't wana watch some other team win, I want MY team to win. Well, this kinda mentality was instilled in me during Kester's era in Green Chords. I became unusually competitive.

So what's a marching band? It's kinda like a uniform body that plays an instrument. I guess that's how you categorize that. Well, what we do for every band practice is pretty much the same. We spend day up till night in school on Saturdays to practice, practice and practice. Amidst all that work, we still have a fair share of play. We have our crazy times.

A day in band practice kicks start with physical training. And this is one of my favourite. It pumps up adrenaline into every nook and cranny of your body. Physical training starts at 7.30am and can last until 9am? It varies actually.... So we're pretty fit cos physical training's very intense. It includes the usual joggings, suicides, carrying chairs over your head for 5 minutes, stretchings and loads other weird physically draining things you can think of. I hate frog jumps but it's good.

After that would be body flexibility exercises where we do exercises that helps make our body more flexible. Followed by our marching fundamentals where we learn our physically strainous marching stuff. Easy but if done over and over again, it's tiring and boring. And you'll get annoyed with people who just can't get it right.

Then comes the fun and the best part........the actual action where we start doing our formation which starts at about 10am before the sun's scorching hot.

That's part of our schedule for practice. And it goes on till night. And we do this for months to complete a 10 minute show. It is amazing how we put in a lot of time to perfect something that lasts only minutes. And those 10 minutes would be the best adrenaline pumping moment of your life cos after all those hard work, you can finally show your stuff to everyone.

That's one of the joy of marching band for me. I love being at the field doing my stuff and showing it off. It's just what I love to do - performing. To me, marching band is a place to cultivate performers and creative people. Cos on field, we can let our imagination go wild and put up crazy choreography. In a way, marching band could be a kind of performing art. Maybe it is but I just didn't know.

I love what I'm doing and I am not going let this chance go, that's for sure. =]

Tuesday, August 4, 2009


Okay. So I finally decided to seek the magic of the self proclaimed dry skin specialist, Rosken. And I have to say, it worked. I see a significant difference after my first usage.

What made me not pick this body lotion in the first place despite it being well known as the dry skin specialist and having rave reviews from magazines? Simple. It doesn't smell very......perfume. And the packaging doesn't look interesting.

But it works like magic. So I'll have to ignore the smell and the uninteresting packaging for awhile. I need my legs to stop looking like I have neglected it. Smooth and beautiful legs, here I come! =D

Anyway, other than that....this holidays have got me thinking, a lot. For my recent birthday, I had lots of people wishing me happy birthday and thank you all so much by the way. One of them from Anders...he was talking about my fashion line and hope that I will get into it. Ohh.....those dreams I had when I was in secondary school...... I really wonder if they can actually materialize. I've always been a loner when I was in Form 5 and Anders was the one that I truly talked to. So of course, I also shared my hopes and dreams to him.

The thing is....it really got me thinking.....am I just dreaming too much? Seriously, I have lots of dreams of doing music and on the side, put up a fashion line. But now.....I still love music....I still love fashion.....just that, the fashion thing...... I think it's a world filled with plastic. I for one, don't think I can be different. And.......it also got me thinking that.....maybe I'm dreaming too much. Cos right now, I'm barely doing anything about. Music yes. But fashion, no. =(

Apart of me says that I'm just a big dreamer but destined to be a mere engineer. But another part of me tells me that I am born creative and not conforming to anything 'normal'. It also tells me that in this life, we don't have to be what we HAVE to be, which for me...is being an engineer. Sadly, my life at present, tells me that I'm not even taking any initiative of breaking the cycle of laziness and normalities that prevents me from developing my music and also fashion. Also, other duty calls..... Mostly doing church stuff. So okay, I suck at time management. But what can I do? I do spend a handful of time doing music...been jamming and stuff and doing some personal development on the piano but......throughout the holidays, I don't even have a single inspiration for a song! It just plain suck..and now, holidays are almost over..

I gotta do something....salvage every bit of myself that I can gather. Tonight, I shall start coming up with something. Tomorrow, I need to get working on the things that I love to do before it's too late!

Oh...I just remembered that I have to see Abg Zul tomorrow regarding my loan application. Boohoo......so much for kick-starting my passions.

Saturday, August 1, 2009


Happy Birthday to ME
Happy Birthday to ME

Happy Birthday, Happy Birthdaaayyyyy....................................

Happy Birthday to

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Fix You

Oh man....this is an awesome cover of Fix You. Sung by a girl!! You gotta check this out...

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


Since my birthday's coming up real soon, I wana put up my wish list. =P I hope it makes it easier for you all to get me a gift. =)

I would like to have.....

CDs of my favorite bands. Paramore and Coldplay would be lovely. Fall Out Boy, The Script and All American Rejects are cool too. Or...if you think a band would be of my liking, I'm okay with it. I like listening to something fresh and new. For Paramore, I specifically want The Final Riot CD/DVD. =D Oh, and Hillsong's new album is alright too.

I love T-shirts. Especially printed ones with interesting quotes on them. Heh. Like my "Don't Trust Your Boyfriend" tee. I love it but I don't believe in it. =P Don't believe what the T--shirt tells you.

I'd love to have that Wireless Microphone but it's costs RM600++ so let's just skip that.

I like accessories. Necklaces are definitely my favorite.

Artsy stuff are cool too. I like things that I can decorate my room with and it can definitely add a memory of you to my room. =)

Strictly no teddy bears. Unless you want me to skin you alive. I may be cute but I don't like cute and furry things lying around in my room.

Hehehehe........please get me one of these...pleeaaasseeeeee................................

*smiles sweetly and flutters eyelashes*

how can you resist that look??


Sunday, July 26, 2009


Wow.... I really enjoyed practice just now. Love the jamming session with my musicians Thomas, my brother, Raphael and our latest and definitely staying pianist, Ruby. We are now complete! No need to borrow the 'older' pianists. Now, we all have the same feel, into the same music.....in other words, we are all sama palak.

Well, what we did was jam Taylor Swift's Love Story, punk version. =P The wonders of jamming kan. And we did all that in the CHURCH SANCTUARY, complete with head banging and stuff. Crazy aye? Worldly...so worldy....=P Very rock la....dahlah while we were doing those unrelated-to-practice stuff, people who were gona attend the event at the Parish Centre came to the church and were totally watching us! Bangga la...but malu also........

Sadly, time was limited so we can't jam long enough. Boohoo.....I so love jamming now. I wana jam summore....

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


Being able to get through Degree is suppose to be a good thing kan? =)

But when your friends are left behind and you're the only one, it is a sad thing. =(

Sadder still when he didn't make it through with you as well.



I think not.


Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Hot Days

Today....woke up kinda early cos I couldn't really sleep. Boohoo.....

So I just did some housework before I got ready to get my results. Yes!! Today is the day I collect my result!! So I go lohh....take my result lohh....and you know what? Of all the subject to fail, I failed Innovation and Change. Yes, the darned Innovation and Change. I feel like I don't have dignity to fail Inno. I accept failing Engineering Physics. I accept failing Engineering Maths (B). But Innovation and Change?? It really caught me off guard. I think it caught EVERYBODY off guard. This time round, the marking is really strict and so, lots of people failed Innovation and Change for the first time in history. I envy those who took the subject last sem.

After taking my results, had lunch with him. Yes, it is something that I missed very much. After that I went home. The day is so frigging hot, sat directly in front of the fan and just watch TV. Actually, I was about to go out with him when my mom told me to go pick up my bro from school. Spoil kan? Oh well. It's not that I get to do that all the time you know. I missed it so much! And when the holidays are over, I'll never see it again. =( Which means, no Leverage, no House, no Two and a Half Men.....oh.... I don't look forward to the day we part, oh TV!

Oh, and I did something to my room. =) When the refurbishment is done, I shall show you my crib. =D Right after that...surprise, surprise....he called me. It just confirms something.

That pretty much sums up this hot day.

Lunch with you isn't enough.

If only it was longer.

Monday, July 20, 2009


Whoa...You know how God is so awesome? Lately, I've been thinking of how I can contribute to society through the church and I have thought of something. And in my mind, the word "Compassion" keeps bombarding my mind. And what's weird - or should I say, awesomer is that this year's theme for the 40 Days Fast and Prayer is Love Our Neighbour. And also, I was reminded of this song which.....speaks of compassion and helping people who are less fortunate than we are. Like, WHOA!!! kan?


It is not a human right
To stare not fight while broken nations dream
Open up our eyes, so blind
That we might find the mercy for the need

Hey now
Fill our hearts with your compassion
Hey now
As we hold to our confession

It is not too far a cry
Too much to try to help the least of these
Politics will not decide if we should rise
And be your hands and feet

Hey now
Fill our hearts with your compassion
Hey now
As we hold to our confession

God, be the solution
We will be your hands and be your feet
Yeah Yeah

Higher than our circumstance
You promised and you loved for all to see
Higher than our protest lines and dollar signs
Your love is all we need

Hey now
Fill our hearts with your compassion
Hey now
As we hold to our confession

God, be the solution
We will be your hands and be your feet

God, be the solution
We will be your hands and be your feet
Whoa Yeah

Only you can mend the broken heart
And cause the blind to see
You erase complete, the sinner's past
And set the captives free

Only you can take the widow's cry
And cause the heart to see
Be the Father to the fatherless
Our Saviour and our King

We will be your hands
We will be your feet
We run this race for the least of these
In the darkest place we will be your light,
We will you light

We will be your hands
We will be your feet
We run this race for the least of these
In the darkest place we will be your light,
We will you light

God, be the solution
We will be your hands and be your feet

God, be the solution
We will be your hands and be your feet

We will run
We will run
We will run with the solution

We will run
We will run
We will run with the solution

We will be your hands
We will be your feet
We run this race for the least of these
In the darkest place we will be your light,
We will you light we´ll sing

Love Our Neighbour

It's the time of the year again. The time where almost all churches in Malaysia will be praying and fasting for our nation. Yup. It's the annual 40 Days Fast and Prayer season! And this year, I want to take it seriously.

It starts on 22nd July until 30 August, a day before our National Day.

Love Our Neighbour

In case you don't know, this 40 Days Fast and Prayer is organized by the National Evangelical Christian Fellowship (NECF). To know about the history of it's formation, click here.

I love the Christian way of fasting. We don't fast cos of rituals. Except Catholics who fast on Fridays for I don't know why. Anyway, we fast for a purpose and we use the fasting time to pray for something that burdens us. In other words, the time we spend to eat will be used to pray. But fasting isn't confined to food only. Fasting is actually giving up something you LOVE to do so that you can pray for important stuff.

For me, I need to eat cos I'm skinny. I'm really scared of becoming underweight. And so, I thought of another thing to fast. I'm thinking of going on a Facebook fast. Yeah...something that I love to do. But I should go on a full Internet fast. As in, no Facebook, no MSN and no blogging. Ohhh.......susah kan? And replace all those HOURS spent on the Internet to do something better - to pray for Malaysia.

I'm praying for my country.
Are you?

Sunday, July 19, 2009

The holidays have got me thinking......
Hey! Check out this cover of Paramore's Decode!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Hey....how come there's no comment for my last post??

This shows how nosy you people in my personal life.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.....

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Ke-boring-an, Sila Meng-entertain-kan

Tonight is one of those nights where I can say "It's so hot that I can just wear my bra and underpants and just watch TV."

But I am doing quite the contrary. Hahaha. Easier said than done for me. Right now I am in the living room enjoying the air-cond but dreading my dad banging on the piano. -.-" Well, he's enjoying it so I'll just zip it.

Anyways, what will I blog tonight? Well, I was going through my friend, Melissa's blog and read her post on her top 6 hot guys. The thing is, I don't have any. I am oblivious to the hot guys of Hollywood. They look all the same to me. When I see Hollywood stars, I see how they dress so I guess I'll make my list of Top 5 Most Fashionable People (As According To Christine). It is judged entirely by ME, it is MY own opinion. So I don't need YOU to criticize ME. Well, I sound harsh cos I don't want people flaming me after this. I'm taking this precaution because of my Edward Cullen post last time caused someone to go frantic and totally flamed my blog and pretended to be multiple other people and filled my cbox with utter rubbish and calling me a loser. But seriously, who's the loser here? I envy Edward Cullen. Because he's not as good-looking as Jo Jonas or as sexy as Justin Timberlake but he gets the girls crazy to the extent they want to defame me and probably KILL me for saying he's ugly. But it is fact. You only say he's good looking cos of his dreamy eyes in the movie Twilight. It's all just so cliche. Remember High School Musical? Yeah, Zac Efron got his big hit there. The exact same way how Edward Cullen got his. All except, Zac Efron is more good looking.

Back to topic!

As I was saying....

My list of Top Fashionable People are...

First up...

Katherine Elizabeth Hudson or nama glamour nya....Katy Perry.

Hey, I just like her kinky style. She doesn't really conform to stereotypes so she's definitely one of a kind. Her style is....retro sexy with makeup that is doll-like. Definitely love it! And her body...not the typical stick-like figure of a model. Very sexy and very much coveted by many, I believe. People always look at Rihanna or Beyonce....but never Katy Perry. Sad...but needledd to say, she is beautiful in her own way.

Wonder what's she doing.
Photo courtesy of flickr.com

My next pick is...

A British model who is at the pinnacle of her career and she rules the runway. She walked on the runway for names like Anna Sui, Chanel, Dolce & Gabanna, Stella McCartney and also Versace to name a few. Formerly the face of Burberry...yes, she is none other than Agyness Deyn (her nama glamour also la..but I forgot what's her real name). Her style is definitely that of a rocker chick. That's why I like it. Very laid-back and a style that can be used daily.

After Agyness would be....

Again British. A poised young lady. You know her through the famous novel made into a movie, the Harry Potter series. That's right, it is Emma Watson.

Emma Watson is a very bright young lady and mind you, she is the same age as I am which makes her very, extremely extraordinary. She's also a sportswoman as well. A very accomplished young girl. And to top that off, she is the new face of Burberry.

This is my personal favourite.

These photos were taken from her Teen Vogue photo shoot. She actually consult her own styling. So I must say I love her style. Very classy...very....British. For me, I think if I wana go for dinners and stuff like that, I'd emulate this kinda style. I dig this.

The top of my list goes to......

Gwen Stefani.

What else can I say? She's beautiful.

Here ends my list of Fashionable Women.


Hope you enjoyed it.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

You Would Love To Read This

I must admit. I am a bit of a loner. And I do guard my privacy. And I get a bit anxious when people (even my friends) want to come over. Mostly due to the planning involve. My house do have many dwellers. But it is something I have to get over at times. Because I tell myself that I can't always be a loner and keep my privacy all the time. And thankfully, with this thinking, it gives me a fair share of solidarity and having company.

And...the reason for being a little quiet bout my love life is because it is my personal life. So personal life's gotta be personal. And I am trying to keep it personal. Who wants to know the mushy details about it anyway? I mean, if I were to read my friend's blog and reading all the mushy details about her love life.....I would desperately need a plastic bag. To save you from such a thing, I'd prefer to spare you the details.

But there is one thing I need to let out. I fear something....I don't know how to put it in words. Like last time, I was so "in love" or so I thought I was "in love" only to find that I was just the flavor of the month. I was placed in a position where I was so very much hopeful and then....I was left with just hopes and promises and 3 words that actually meant nothing. Of course I was sad. Who wouldn't be? For a day, I just felt like hiding in my room and shed tears but instead, my mother took me out and had no choice but to hold back the sadness that burdened my heart. Worse of all, he didn't even know I was upset because every time we meet, I just smiled and acted like nothing happen. Life just went on normally with us still talking but the hurt just couldn't go away...until I started college that is. But still, seeing him just reminds me that I musn't be foolish and let my feelings get carried away. And so, I still feel the pain but more to shame which acts as a reminder not to repeat such a thing ever again. Also, this kind of thing is enough to shatter my self-esteem even though people tell me I am beautiful and I do think I am beautiful....but...more often than not, the question of "Am I really that beautiful?" does pop up. And I do compare myself with other girls and convincing myself that other girls are much more beautiful than I.

Of course I feel like revenging...who wouldn't? Both parties abusing their good looks for personal gains. But of course, it doesn't make me any better than him. So I don't wana do it. And who says people like me don't get hurt? I decided I don't want to do this to anyone. And so, I'm not playing around. And don't be surprised that it is so difficult for me to say 'I Love You' these days. Because I am SICK of lip service.

To YOU, I hope you're serious cos I don't want you to play around with my feelings. It's enough that I've been hurt once. If only I could read minds, it would be so much easier. But I can't. Sometimes I think you're serious but at times, I think you're just playing with me. So I don't know. I feel like I can't take you seriously at all. Sometimes...ahh....nevermind. I'll stop here.