So last night I went partying at Barzing for Sonia's birthday. It was the first that I actually partied in a bar and drank Tequila and Sex on The Beach. All paid by Keith. The last time I went with my cousins and I wasn't close to some of them so I didn't really dance and stuff.
Reasons for going Clubbing - Wanna try something new, out of curiosity, wanna dance!, so I can have my own opinion on clubbing.
When I got there, I just feel that I can't dance cos....how can you dance with people you don't really know? In the group, I only knew Sonia and Faisal well. The rest, I just met them so I'm a bit reserved cos you can't just trust people that instant. Plus they're guys and I didn't go with my boyfriend. I don't want to give them the impression that I'm available and it is not like me to throw myself at guys. I don't do that.
After the shot of Tequila, I kinda loosen up a bit and danced. =D I love the dancing part. And I do know how to enjoy myself. And Keith bought Sex on The Beach for Sonia and I. Still I can say that I hate alcohol because 1) it tastes like cough syrup 2) it has a burning and warm feeling inside my tummy that I don't like 3) it's not good for my voice 4) the feeling of getting tipsy is not pleasant. It's not my first time consuming alcohol but still....I never liked it and never will. It still intrigues me why people enjoy drinking it and getting drunk. The feeling is so not nice. Maybe because I like myself the way I am. I dunno.... And I don't think I can ever understand.
After the whole dancing session, we stopped and that's when I realized that I was getting tipsy and at my limit. I know I have to stop drinking. Kinda relieved that it was over then until I heard one of the gang suggested to go for another round at Monster Tongue. I was like "Oh man.....". I couldn't drive for a while cos I needed to get used to the spinning thing going on in my head so I let Sonia do the driving to Monster Tongue. In my tipsy-ness, Sonia asked me if I enjoyed myself and whether I'll be joining them in the future. I just honestly said "No.". Surprisingly I'm very honest in my tipsy-ness. But I have to be honest there and then. I don't mean to ruin her birthday and all....but this thing is not my thing. When we reached Monster Tongue, I just told them "Okay, I'm going home. See you guys!". Come on, I live with my parents! And I'm driving! I can't go home in a drunken state. My mom is cool about me going out late BUT I must not break her trust. If I go home much later AND in a drunken state, I'll be saying goodbye to her trust, goodbye to going out and goodbye car. So after explaining, they understand and let me go.
On my way home, I was telling God to keep me thinking straight while driving cos I need to get home safe and sound. Thank God I did. While driving, I was analysing the whole thing that happened. Honestly, when one of them suggested Monster Tongue, the Holy Spirit kinda prompted me to go back. Cos the moment that suggestion came, "Go back" kept resounding in my head. Also, I decided that though it was fun, I am not going to do this ever again. It's compromising my belief. And I am being among people who don't know God and follow Him. It reminded me of the Isrealites. God commanded them to drive out all the Ammonites, the Jebusites and the Peruzzites but they didn't. The consequences of what they did was they defiled themselves by inter-marrying with those pagan nations and the Isrealites began worshipping their gods. That was why God commanded them to eliminate everything even their children and women, it is so that the Isrealites will not worship other gods. And there I was with people of the world. Now, I may say that there's nothing wrong....I won't get drunk....I won't go over. But I know that if I go on doing this, I will say a different thing. Run from temptation, as said in Proverbs. What I see in there...girls indirectly selling themselves and of course, the excessive drinking and smoking, it is nothing a follower of Jesus Christ do! To continue going there would mean I am compromising and saying 'it's okay'. I do not want to compromise. I do not want to give up my faith. I am willing to stop clubbing and biar jak orang pikir aku tok alim. But I will never give up Jesus for anything. It's not worth it.
The Bible never said "Thou shalt not go clubbing". But I have my own opinion. If you want to go clubbing, go ahead. But I have made my own decision. I will not continue going clubbing. I have many reasons. Well, I guess by now you should know my ultimate reason for not continuing. For Christians, I kind of walking on a fine line and playing with fire. The Devil's all out to take us away from God. So....gotta be careful and make your stand.
Anyway, I can say....it's so easy to do all those bad stuff and get you conscientiousness seared. In one night, I learned all that. And to do what you do, I can do too. But to be a Christian, it's not easy. Stuff like these, I just have to give it up. Cos it's not leading me to the right direction. And I challenge you to be me. It's not going to be easy to take up the cross. I can cheat in my exams if I wanted to and easily too. But I didn't. I could've swindled people and take advantage of them but I didn't. All because of the fear and reverence of the Lord. Fear and reverence is like.....towards your parents. You still obey them because you love them. Same case as this. So....try be me for a day. Can you handle it?