Thursday, June 26, 2008

Stop Right There!

Last night, Frank, Calvin, Herman (yes, he's back from Russia!), my brother and I went for the weekly Intercession Meeting as they were praying for the Youth Ministry of St. Faith. Really, I was so surprised to see Herman there!

After the prayer meeting, we all went out for supper. We have a new hang out place. Not at Expert RH Plaza nemore. We're now hanging at Lee Cafe ( many Lee Cafe!), somewhere at Tabuan Jaya/Tabuan Laru.... I don't know. They're both the same to me. =P

So we had fellowship as usual. Kinda weird being the only girl there. All because I forgot to tell Elly and I think Gwen "collapsed" on her bed by the time she got home. Suddenly Herman randomly asked all the guys "Got girlfriend or not?". Calvin told us bout his girl, even showed her pic. Frank avoided the topic, typical of him. My bro, said no cause he's too young. (Maybe because his sister's here so he won't say.) The last person to ask was me lah. "Got boyfriend or not?" I proudly said no lah. But this Frank and Calvin Tarang ah..... They both said simultaneously "Got!!!" Swt. I forgive them because they don't know what happened. But Calvin Tarang knew so I was kinda crushed. Then Frank said "Elissa" and I was so..... Aiyoh.. Don't know how to explain. I wished the earth would swallow me up because my brother was there and they're talking about this! (Didn't I tell you all not to talk about it in front of him?) Not that I'm ashamed to talk about my boyfriend in front of my brother (if I had any), it's just that the guy that they were referring to was not the choice that I was proud of. If he was an awesome guy, I'd talk about him and the first person I'd tell will be my brother anyway.

So I told them "Please don't talk about him! It's so....memalukan...." And I forgot what else did I say. But I remembered it was so hard for me to mention his name. I always referred to him as "him" or "that guy". I didn't want to mention his name in front of my brother. And they had no idea how this guy made me close to tears for one whole day. And that I dare not mention cos of my brother's presence. So much for promising myself not to talk about him. Sighs.

How am I suppose to get over it when people keep talking about him to me? First, during band competition, now this. I always remembered Micheal telling me this "If you're over it, you wouldn't be talking about it." Which was very much true. Words of wisdom from my dear brother Micheal. And I have to tell you, that was the last I spoke of the matter because it was then that I decided that I want to get over it. I've poured my heart out, now I just need to let it go and forget about it. Why keep dwelling in the past? It's just gona be a burden. So my first step is to talk about it to someone, tell everything then stop talking about it. Forgive the guy, forgive myself, forgive the third party and let it go and not let it affect the relationship between the people involved. And I hope this shall be my last talking about this for I don't like having depressing posts in my blog anymore.

Before I can do that, I better tell Frank what happened so I won't have to talk about it anymore. of my necklace broke! =( It's worse than what happened last night, I tell you. I'm still rather devastated about it.

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