Last Saturday was my cousin's wedding. And it seems that everybody have their pasangan. My niece from my mom's side is dating my cousin's cousin from my dad's side. My cousin who's the same age as I am has a girlfriend. Plus, that night during Band Idol, Antonia came with her new boyfriend, Elmer which made me teringat that Amanda also has a boyfriend.
All this made me have that keinginan to have a boyfriend also lah......I was like "wouldn't it be nice to have a boyfriend." ..... but then. I had to snap out of it. Gotta focus lah. All these things....having a boyfriend is something that I don't want to get into at the moment. There's so much I want to do. So much I want to try. And I really want to be independent. Having a boyfriend, being in a relationship is just going to pull me down from getting to my highest potential. I know it will. Because I am serious in everything I get myself involved in. Everytime I see that I can't commit or I get tired of doing, I just don't wana do it anymore. Relationships included. If I know I can't commit, I won't do it. I think that if you're in a relationship, it means you intend to marry that person. I don't think you would like to hurt someone's feelings or being hurt anyway. Besides, I've not found one that's compatible for me.
I have been in a situation where I liked this guy to death! He was a smart guy, in a good class and all that. And I thought that if I wanted to be with this guy, I have to be as smart as he is. So I studied hard and got good grades after that. I even sanggup blaja klaka Melayu S'wak for him okay? That's how far I would go. And when I saw the real him and that he ended up going for some other girl, I was devastated. I was mad at myself for being stupid. And that's when I decided that I don't wana be too serious whenever I fancy a guy.
Well, I wana quote from Rihanna...... live your life. Don't rush and let yourself be EMO just for a guy. Seriously, most of the people I know who have boyfriends are just so emo..... kelahi lah apa lah...... Unecessary distractions. Thank God for music to divert my attention from the thought of having a boyfriend now! For God's sake, I'm only 18!
Yup, I'm focused now. I just had to let it all out to get myself back on track again.