Oh Lord, Help Me!

I don't understand why

We put our hope on something

That we know will fail us.

But yet, we still do.

And no matter how many times we fall

We still never learn

Like a dog who poops and walks away

Only to find that it turns back

Go towards it and eat it again.

Oh Lord, help me to turn to you always

Oh Lord, help me to keep my eyes on you

And know that only you satisfy

And that only you can give me purpose

Your love, I am unable to fathom

Your love, so amazing and abiding

And I don't want to forget that

I want to let the world know

Of this love of yours

That is unconditional and everlasting

But I don't know how

All I know

Is to rely on you and to live for you

To live a life that reflects you

A life that honors you

That people will see the difference

Living for you

It does not offer an easy life

Nor does it offer riches

In the form of money

Not even a ticket

To be free from hardships

In fact

Life gets harder still

But what is it that you offer?

You have all that we need in this life

The one simple thing

That is purpose

With purpose comes

A sense of living

And not happiness

But joy that's everlasting

The tragedy of life is not death but a life without a purpose. - taken from Purpose Driven Life

Tagged by Meimei

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, tag 25 people off your friends list. You also have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.





1. My name is Christine Dior. Seriously. Ain't being a poser. Check my IC for verification if you want. It's for real. Cos I actually told people my name and they gave me this "are you kidding me?" look. And I always have to tell them I'm serious. -.-" Difficult, difficult....







2. I grew up listening to Third Eye Blind, Smashing Pumpkins, Blur, Nirvana, The Cranberries and the likes. Hence, the interest in rock music. My first favourite band before the Backstreet Boys and N Sync phase? Michael Learns To Rock. Ain't rock like the other bands I grew up listening to but still.....it's a band with guitar, bass etc.







3. Katy Perry's Thinking Of You is stuck in my head.







4. I want to buy a dress. Dress is easy. It's one piece and therefore, less hassle. And I think I'll stock up on dresses for next sem so that whenever I'm lazy (which is often), I'll wear a dress.







5. Then again.....*horrible sight of almost seeing someone's underwear while walking up the stairs at Swinburne flashes* then again.... HER DRESS WAS TOO DARN SHORT!!







6. I don't find guys with huge muscles arousing. Really. I either find them disgustingly erotic or just downright GAY. So much for protein drinks. I don't think real guys would wana really work out and buff up their bodies anyway.





7. I'm hungry right now. Really hungry.





8. Pissed with Bank Simpanan Nasional's inefficiency. So much for GOVERNMENT BANKS. Waited for one and a half hour just to do my payment to Swinburne.





9. I'm living a real life Diner Dash.





10. I love language. I think all languages are awesome. Especially all our local languages.



11. I looovvveeeee performing. I love being nervous. Nervousness just sends adrenalin rushing through my veins. It's when I'm nervous that my performance is the best.





12. Music. Love it. I sing, play the piano and the guitar (not my best).



13. I was in a Marching Band. It's something like an orchestra but we learn some other stuff like marching and loads of physical exercises are involved. So it's kinda like an orchestra and a sport altogether. Used to play the flute and then played the Marching Mellophone. Not a common instrument but sure sounds nice! And this explains why I still have a body of an athlete even after I stopped playing Squash.



14. As said above, I was in the making of being a Squash player. Could've been representing Sarawak or maybe even Malaysia by now but.....God had different plans. And I'm thankful for that.



15. I miss my friends. I can go out but they can't. Sad ain't it?



16. I really have to buy the dress lah..................itching, itching...ngehehe..



17. Eversince I've not been in the Marching Band anymore, I got back to my original skin tone. I can't believe that I'm fair!




18. I can't wait for classes to resume. I miss my college friends as well! All our lepaking and all.....really miss all that. And work, though fun, is draining life out of me in a way. I strongly believe it's not work but myself.




19. Never think that I allow people to bully me when they scold me while I keep quiet. I'd rather be quiet than allowing the nastiest things to ever come out of my mouth! Baik membisu daripada mengaum!




20. Photography? Something that I won't say I'm very good at but something that I like to appreciate. Not very rajin to do photography anymore.




21. Music? Something that I'm very passionate but also something I won't say I'm best at. It is definitely something that I can do.




22. I do think that I wasted lots of money pursuing classical piano untill Grade 8. Spend lots of money to just get a 'Pass'. Baik x boh jak nak? And instead of continuing Degree, I end up playing contemporary piano.




23. I like my hair to be messy. I don't usually atur my hair properly after waking up. I think it has a mind of it's own that it styles itself. Seriously. I like that out-of-bed messy look. Kinda has that rocker feel which does reflect my personality.




24. I used to wear retainers. I still do but not so often nemore. Ehehehe.....




25. I'm not gona tag people. I did this just for fun. If you wana do, just do lah.....

hearthrob has a gf. Oh well.......

As I always say, LIFE MUST GO ON.

It's not like he's married right?

Trying to console myself.

Been bothered by this since 4pm this day.

We're Gona Rock This World!

Last night was Planetshakers concert and it was a blast! C'mon, the actual team came! Henry Seeley never fails to amaze me. It's just like listening to the recording. Awesome!


For those of you who weren't willing to spend a friggin RM10 on the ACTUAL Planetshakers' team.....RUGI BETUL!!


RM10 is real cheap. It's so friggin cheap and you're telling me that it's so expensive? Come on, to bring in the ACTUAL Planetshaker's team ain't cheap alright? You gotta consider their air fare and passports and things like that and all that can easily amount to RM 15 000 or more. And usually, when UNsponsored, you end up paying RM50 or RM30 (the cheapest). The previous Planetshakers concerts costs RM5 cos it wasn't the main group. Don't tell me you can't fork out an extra RM5 for the actual team right? RM10. Plus sponsorship from Bethany ministries, don't you think it's worth it?


Anyway, the concert was awesome! I jumped. I danced. I sing. I screamed. I headbanged. So I clearly had fun. The message that the songs carries were great too! Last night really inspired to really go all out and not be afraid of getting deeper into Christianity. And so, I will try my best and give my best. I know it's difficult but I just gotta try.


Today's Valentine's Day also known as Single Awareness Day. It is a day where singles like me do realize that we are single. But......I am also very much aware that I am very, extremely happy. Hey, at least I know I don't have to spend so much money or brainstorm on what to give. But truth be told.......I am utilising this 'special' occasion to make money. Ngiahaha!! Manipulating couples just so that I can make money....tsk, tsk....... I should be ashamed of myself but I'm not. I'm making money. Ngiahaha!! I was busy promoting 5 Loaves Cafe's Valentine's Day promotion. The promotion's good. RM50 per couple. The menu is as follow...

SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU

Because we save your money to save your love

(okay, I added that one)

Spellbound Soup

Tater Chowder Soup or Beef Bacon Bisque

Main Course

5 flavor roast Chicken or Pan Seared Fish with Lemon

The Lovebug

Choc Mudcake with Whipped Cream topped with Choc Syrup and Cherries

Promotion includes Bubbling Love Potion and a gift!

But too bad......the promotion's over. Haha!! Would've made alot of money if I did posted about this earlier. Not many people made reservations but at least got people lah. Lunch not very laku but with this kind of deal for dinner? I'm pretty sure we'll be full house! Unfortunately, we don't open at night.

All The Single Ladies!

Last Saturday was my cousin's wedding. And it seems that everybody have their pasangan. My niece from my mom's side is dating my cousin's cousin from my dad's side. My cousin who's the same age as I am has a girlfriend. Plus, that night during Band Idol, Antonia came with her new boyfriend, Elmer which made me teringat that Amanda also has a boyfriend.

All this made me have that keinginan to have a boyfriend also lah......I was like "wouldn't it be nice to have a boyfriend." ..... but then. I had to snap out of it. Gotta focus lah. All these things....having a boyfriend is something that I don't want to get into at the moment. There's so much I want to do. So much I want to try. And I really want to be independent. Having a boyfriend, being in a relationship is just going to pull me down from getting to my highest potential. I know it will. Because I am serious in everything I get myself involved in. Everytime I see that I can't commit or I get tired of doing, I just don't wana do it anymore. Relationships included. If I know I can't commit, I won't do it. I think that if you're in a relationship, it means you intend to marry that person. I don't think you would like to hurt someone's feelings or being hurt anyway. Besides, I've not found one that's compatible for me.

I have been in a situation where I liked this guy to death! He was a smart guy, in a good class and all that. And I thought that if I wanted to be with this guy, I have to be as smart as he is. So I studied hard and got good grades after that. I even sanggup blaja klaka Melayu S'wak for him okay? That's how far I would go. And when I saw the real him and that he ended up going for some other girl, I was devastated. I was mad at myself for being stupid. And that's when I decided that I don't wana be too serious whenever I fancy a guy.

Well, I wana quote from Rihanna...... live your life. Don't rush and let yourself be EMO just for a guy. Seriously, most of the people I know who have boyfriends are just so emo..... kelahi lah apa lah...... Unecessary distractions. Thank God for music to divert my attention from the thought of having a boyfriend now! For God's sake, I'm only 18!

Yup, I'm focused now. I just had to let it all out to get myself back on track again.

GEEK!!

Hello people!!

Haha....I've been away. I know...but I've been busy. As always. Last Friday was Band Idol, hosted by St. Joseph's Marching Band held at St. Joseph's school auditorium.

Well, Band Idol 2009 was not as happening as Band Idol back in 2005. Sad... Bad publicity I suppose. Blame it on St. Joseph aight? Anyways, this year's Band Idol's participation is open to all schools who have marching bands namely, SMK St. Teresa (boo..) and SMK Green Road. And Green Road sent the coolest team ever. Green Road's representative is called........THE GEEKS!

Handsome geeks and their lovely instructors

Well, before I begin telling you who won and who didn't, who should win and who shouldn'y and bla, bla, bla...lemme just show you the video that I took during the competition and have your own opinion first.

Okay....and here's the winning team........(sorry setengah jak...my sis called half way. grr...)

Frankly speaking the winning team, Suthi Downgraded was boring. Why I say boring? Well, we're all from the marching band and we've seen St. Joseph's Drumline a million times. They do the same warm up. Have the same concept of on-field marching band style with all the colourguards and yada, yada... All so predictable isn't it? I am very disappointed cos usually St. Joseph always never fail to knock my socks off. Band Idol 2005, the drumline of St. Joseph came up with The Painkillers and it was awesome. But this year, Suthi Downgraded was sadly disappointing. I'm not saying they're not good. Technically, they were awesome. Very precise dynamics and articulation. Balance is good as well. And they really did pay attention to details. But the problem is, we've seen it all before. If they had come up with something that's not similar to on-field marching like The Geeks, I would have palat my own school (and my own brother) and voted for them instead. I was not bias in voting for my brother's group. I think they were fresh, original and new. Comedy was an extra bonus. Kudos to The Geeks. Even though in terms of technicalities, their songs can't match the other teams as they played harder pieces. But one thing the others teams forgot......audiences don't care about technical stuff. It's whether you have stage presence. Aka whether you're entertaining and whether you get the crowd screaming like crazy. Bottom line is, no one cares if you're a professional musician. PERIOD.

The Geeks, you guys are awesome. Results don't matter cos, we're at St. Joseph's territory so of course they will win lah.....even though they do acknowledge that The Geeks should win, nevertheless, they votged for their own school. We would do the same wouldn't we? By the way, our marks just differed by 1 mark. At least we know we were not so far away from being the winner. Winning's not everything right? It's the exposure that counts. I'm just so happy that you guys had the chance to represent Green Road and you guys made us known as the band filled with rockers. Haha.... And I am so proud that the idea of Crushcrushcrush was inspired by my performance during our annual band dinner last year. Click here to view the performance.

Credits to Julian Evan and Kester Bakiaraj for the wonder choreography and composing.

So now you all know one thing about me. Yes, I can be a marching band fanatic.

Sleep

I'm tired.

I am both physically and emotionally drained.

But I've got work to do....tonnes of work to do.

I wana do it but ain't got much strength to go on....

Why do I like to keep myself busy?

Sighs...sometimes, what you love to do can suddenly become a burden to you.

And now, it has become a burden.

And yes, I am procrastinating.

Sleep........sleep............

Such a wonderful and necessary thing for me to do.

Sleep....

Cos I'm going nowhere if I continue.

Besi Loves Me

I don't know why but...eversince working at 5 Loaves Cafe, I've become accident prone. And all involving metal. Adeline says I have bad feng shui (in a joking manner lah). Maybe I should consult Lillian Too and perhaps she'll ask me to buy a really expensive purple ox to counter the bad feng shui. No wonder she's rich aye? Loads of crap....

What happen today was....I was opening the shutters (those metal things that acts as a door at the opening of any shop) of the cafe using the besi thingy. The shutters went up and I'm so short so I tippy-toed. But the besi thingy went up so high and I accidentally let go of it. It fell and landed on my face. Ouch. It hurt so much! And it left a very ugly red mark on my face......it's a bruise actually. This is how it looks like....

It hurts but I'm still smiling.

Seriously, all the accidents that happen involves metal and I'm the only one who always gets these accidents and rather serious injuries. This morning's incident definitely became story of the day. Huhu.....malu eh! I don't really mind the ugly red mark but I just hope people don't get the idea that my boss is abusing me or my parents are abusing me or the likes. People, it is a self-inflicted accident.

Besi loves me very much. First, the tiang that made my palak benjol which happened about 2 weeks ago. Now, the besi thingy landing straight onto my face, leaving it bruised. What can possibly happen next???

Anyway, it was rather busy during lunch time at 5 Loaves Cafe. One of the customers being members of Swinburne's Student Council. They were all at one big table. Imagine, busy hour, full house with me being the waitress/toast maker and another not-so-efficient waitress. Surprisingly, at lunch time people still ordered Roti Kahwin and Bread stuff. So it was kinda tough waitressing and making toasts at the same time. Tambah gik the kerenah of the Student Council people. Headache lah! I mean, you order Iced Milo. Adakah patut you want less ice ON A HOT DAY?? One of my conversation went like this....

Girl: Can I have mayonnaise please?

Me: *fake smile* Yeah, sure. =)

I go to the kitchen, take the mayonnaise and pour it into the sauce pan. I imagined the mayonnaise as the girl and I punched it and squeezed it to melepaskan geram. While doing that, I was saying "Stupid, stupid, fussy, cerewet people! I hate Swinburne students! I want more Cheese on my Cheezy Chips....I want Iced Milo with less Ice....can you do this, can you do that....Bodoh! You blind kah?? I'm BUSY. Can you not make so many macam-macam and unimportant permintaan?!! Finish melepaskan geram on the mayonnaise for a few seconds, go out of the kitchen and fake smile more. =)

Me: Your mayonnaise, miss. *with very the fake and very the sweet smile*

Girl: Thank you.

Yeah, whatever. What else do you want?!

Me: Anything else that I forgot?

Girl and Guys: Nope. Thanks.

Me: Thank you.

Finally you cerewet people leave me alone!

After this incident, I realize how much I detest the orang 'up' of Swinburne. Particularly the Student Council people lah. They're so snobbish, speaks the language of the Queen as though they are ang mo, definitely very show off. My mom wanted me to join the Student Council. Yeah, I thought of joining but I always like to check it out before I actually join. I'm a person who's into joining clubs and making a difference and stuff like that. I didn't wana join cos since a majority of them are snobbish, I fear I may end up like them as well. You know....birds of a feather flock together.

I Saw You From The Balcony....

Whoa....I'm so loving my holidays! It's a blast! Or at least I think it is.... Well, been going out with Amanda since Friday night. Haha...did lame stuff that night. Just picking up her brother and we went to Boulevard to get some makeup. So we planned to go breakfast together the next day and invited Jzlyne and Antonia, hoping they can join us. Sadly, they didn't. Ant can't cos 'outings' are very limited for her. And Jez....well......had a hard time crawling out of bed. Hahaha......


Had breakfast at 5 Loaves Cafe, the place where I work at. (Ahem, please people, do drop by the shop. It's halal by the way.) Hang out there till about 12pm. Almost left without paying. After that we went over to LEPO and bought guitar picks. Dang! I bought one about a week ago and now it's gone! Those small things disappear so fast....


Then we went to Spring AGAIN. (Notice how the word 'Spring' pops up frequently these days? Just shows no matter where I go, I'll just end up there.) So we girls went on a little shopping spree. For things that we need of course. Real fun. The kinda boring bit was when we had to go to the bus station to pick up Amanda's grandma. But all in all, I'm just happy that I could spend time with my friend. Sadly, this year's their STPM year so I don't really wana kacau lah. Takut their parents find me....habislah aku.


Oh well....guess that's all the update I have for now.