High Maintenance

To be honest.....


I can't wait till my best friend is gone after my foundation studies. She'll be going elsewhere after this and I can't help but feel......relieved.


Not that she's bad or mean...it's just that, she's high maintenance. It's so hard to have a friend like her. The only reason she does not have any other friends is cos I'm the only one who can "maintain" her. And sometimes, I don't think that it's fair that I always have to try and perk up her mood and stuff. Cos she's the one who's always having problems and looking really emo. I mean, I have my own problems but I have Jesus. So my problems don't seem to be such a big deal actually. She's high maintenance not cos I spend lots of money on her but.....I spend a lot of my emotions and time on her. When she was down, I am the one she would turn to sometimes and when she doesn't have anyone to hang out with, I'd hang out with her. And when she was totally depressed one time, I actually went over to her room and tried to pujuk her and spent the whole day with her. High maintenance isn't it?


I don't know why some people just....can't seem to set their heads right. It's not fair for me but nevertheless, she is still my friend. Josef once asked me,"Why are you still hanging with her?" At the time, I really don't know what to say....but it made me think, it made me go..."Yeah....why?" Well, what would Jesus do if you were in my position? Would you just let her go and self-destruct? You wouldn't want that.....cos guilt will haunt you cos you KNOW you could've made a difference. I am trying to make what little difference I can make in her. Even if it means being unable to hang out with people that I like more often. The past few days, I have to admit that I wasn't studying with her but with other people. Being with Josef and the people he hangs around with makes me feel so relieved! With these people, I feel normal cos they're really normal people.


I'm sure you're asking why don't I bring her along. I tried, ok? Just this afternoon she was acting all anti-social but I forced to come anyway. I didn't want her to be alone in her room and sulking. I am pretty disappointed in her though. She didn't say much and on the way back she was just on the phone. It sucks to see her this way cos it was really rude. I know she's having loads of stress dealing with her new place of stay and her recently breaking up with someone who she was about to marry but didn't and Thank God for that! She said she wanted to have a new life. Right now, just seeing her that way, how can she when she can't even start a new life with these friends of mine? How? She can't even make herself comfortable.


And sometimes, her emo-ness can spread to me. -_-"


Well, I don't know but all I know is, I'm gona be one happy, jolly person after she's gone!!


Oh God, when I go to Degree, please, I know you want me to be a kind soul but.....can I not have a friend so high maintenance like this?

Bad Days

Today, I am feeling the after effects of being sick. Yes, I was sick which sucks cos it wasted one day of studying!


Well, what happen was my cousin had a birthday party with a lot of eating. I went home and continued studying. At around 11pm, my stomach was feeling really weird! At first I could hold it, ignored it and continued studying but at last, it became worse so I decided to call it a night and went to bed. Couldn't really sleep though...till at one point I really felt like puking. And puke I did and it was no sleep for me..... I've experienced worse but definitely something that I'd wish would never happen again. However, it did. And so timely during my study break.


Went to the doctor the next morning, which was yesterday. Doc said that it could be food poisoning but unsure cos I'm not having diarrhea. And I was told to eat simple food. Aka porridge!! Nooooo..................... Suffered eating just porridge alone. Eewww!! And after that, I insisted to go to campus. Crazy huh? Yeah, it was. So I go loh....and I realized I look so pale. Bad. And I started feeling uneasy again. Super bad. Thank God Syaza was there so I asked her whether she can send me back. =P Insane I tell ya!


And I can't believe that I went to watch Transformers last night in that condition. Well, I couldn't sell my tic to anyone. Felt only a teeny bit better so I just go. Show was good. Unfortunately, I don't feel good which makes it very unenjoyable. Huhu.... So I need to watch it again. No point watching Star Premier when you're not feeling too good. It just spoils everything.


Today, my appetite's getting better but every time my stomach's filled, I feel like puking. =/ But at least I can still study despite this.


And thank God it's not Swine Flu.

Friends, I need help. My church's gona have something called a Parish Sale and of course, coupons are sold. And I have a few, which hasn't been sold of, not even one. So...can you guys buy from me? RM10 per coupon.

Circus Cover

You're gona love this version of Britney Spear's Circus. Cover by some Korean guys...it's rock of course. Like, duh!

Hols

This holiday, I don't wana work. I wana spend time doing things that I have always wanted to do...like...writing songs and finalize some of the songs I've written. Some of my songs are 'hanging' to this day cos I can't really sit down and think it through. I want to complete any of them that are incomplete. Also, I wana continue trying my luck in making my clothes. After viewing Lala Liu's blog and seeing her own fashion show, it yet again ignited my dream. And I have not forgotten about my online shop. No, not yet.

So I hope to accomplish these things during my hols. I pray that I won't be lazy and waste my time on Facebook but rather, do all these constructive things. Amen!

Next Tuesday night, I'm going to watch the premier of Tranformers 2: Revenge of The Fallen.


Sorry peeps...I know some of you want to watch with me but my siblings got me first. Lagipun, my sister yg bayar bah.... ahahahaaa....mestilah aku maok..


But if you all still wana watch with me, I'd be delighted cos I would definitely wana watch again!

I just wana wish Gio a Happy Birthday!


Dude, you're old!!


HAHA....


Cannot chia you already. My tawaran sudah basi. You didn't want me to chia you yesterday bah...

Goldilocks and Curly Bear

My blog don't have much pictures doesn't it?


And colours...


Sad huh?


Such a sad blog. =P


Well, Whatever.


Anyway, I want to tell you a story. You've heard of Goldilocks and the three bears right? Well, my story's just Goldilocks and the Curly Bear. =P


Goldilocks loves going to her aunt's house. Her aunt keeps a bear called Curly Bear. While Goldilocks is at her aunt's place, she loves sneaking into a room. Just that particular room. What she doesn't know is, Curly Bear lives in that room. But when every time Goldilocks is there, Curly Bear's never there cos it's out hunting for food. Goldilocks love going in there cos of all the good food stored in there. At first, she eats a little. Curly Bear came back and noticed a slight decline of food and asked,"Who ate my food?" But Curly Bear just shrugged it off cos it's just a little gone.


The next time Goldilocks came, she ate Curly Bear's food again. This time, she got a little carried away. Curly Bear came back and noticed some of it's food was gone. And Curly Bear growled,"Who ate my food???" Goldilocks' aunt heard Curly Bear growling and asked,"What's all this ruckus?" Then Curly Bear said,"Someone ate my food!!" Goldilocks' aunt replied,"It must've been rats." She knew Goldilocks ate Curly Bear's food but she is afraid Curly Bear would do something bad.


Then came the third time. This time, Goldilocks became greedy. She ate and she ate and she ate until Curly Bear came back and caught her red handed! Curly Bear was happy to find the culprit red handed but angry cos Goldilocks ate almost all of it's food supply. Such a selfish pig Goldilocks this! Curly Bear grabbed Goldilocks by her beautiful golden locks and eat her!!! Muahahaha!!!!! Padan muka!!! And Curly Bear said," Tak rugi I gather all these food to fatten up a little girl and eat her up. She tasty." =P--> The face of the satisfied bear. Curly Bear smiled away and sleep.


The end.


Tragic, isn't it? This story is a metaphor of something that happened to me today. It's so tersirat, that a bimbo can't understand this.

There's a new (is it new?) online social networking site....Twitter. Another one of those Friendster (that's almost as good as dead) and Facebook thingy.


Yes, I am tempted to make an account. I am contradicting myself. Just when I told myself that I wouldn't want to have too many accounts, here I am, contemplating to have another social online networking account. I mean, all the time spent on Facebook could've been used for more constructive things. Like finishing up my Innovation and Change report. And yet, I Facebook. And yet, I still want to have a Twitter account.


SIN!!!


*okay, now I sound like one of those Amish people.*


SIN!!!!

Talk bout Reality!

I was talking with Herbert and Rahim this afternoon. We were talking bout how uni life isn't a breeze at all. We were saying that we're just doing our 1 year foundation program and we're already feeling the pinch of reality. I guess cos everything's jam packed in one year. If we can't take foundation, what more to say degree?


So I came up with the silliest, yet the most enticing suggestion ever.


"You know what? I think I'll just quit school, get married and have babies."


"ohhh....you guys can't do that. You're guys. Your job is to take care of the family. I'm a girl so it's okay. =) I can find a rich old man to marry. But not you guys."


=P

Announcements

I am happy to announce that Hitz will be playing Kris Allen's version of No Boundaries and not Adam Lambeth's.


And I am back from the boring Santubong resort. =D


Hmm....my cbox is stagnant. Am I losing readers? Oh please don't give up on my blog yet! =(


Please.... =)

Cliches oh, Cliches

Heard from my friend Yanie that my classmate asked why I don't have a boyfriend cos I'm pretty.

I bet many are wondering. Haha.

So to clear the air, I shall answer in this post. =)


It's so cliche when people think that all pretty girls should have a boyfriend, don't you think? Not saying that I'm not having a boyfriend because I'm defying cliches. Not at all. And it's not that I don't think I'm pretty. I do and I know I am pretty.


It's just that it's not easy for me to let someone in, if you get what I mean. Love songs portray relationships as something so hard like Neyo's Mad and Jordin Spark's Battlefield. The idea that there's gonna be fights in relationships actually scare me. But it's only through fights that will either make the relationship or break it. Fights makes it genuine. But I am scared it will break it. Really, I am. I am scared of being a drama queen as well. Cos I know there are some people who have boyfriends and have public fights and also public display of affection. I just think these people are just addicted to the drama they see on the telly.


Also, I know that if I am in a relationship, I will be very loyal. A very serious loyalty. And I think that loyalty will hinder me from reaching my greatest potential. But I am not saying it's wrong for me to date. If I do date, then that's ok. I just hope that it will be kinda low profile and without public display of affection. But I know some will tease...gotta live with it right?


And I am very careful with whom I choose. =) Which explains the delay. But as Joshua Harris says, we shouldn't be impatient and pick the fruit before it ripens because it will be bruised. Patiently waiting for the fruit to ripen brings about a sweet outcome.


People are so cliche. I am not a girl who subscribes to cliches. And the ideology that a pretty girl is always taken and should be having a boyfriend is so overrated. Well, people, that is not always the case alright? I am the proof of that. I'm taking my time. Being patient to get the best.

Idol Debate

Adam Lambeth.


So it's official that he's gay. Well, he didn't want to clear the air earlier cos obviously he's keeping his own interest knowing that he'll get less votes if he did. Like, duh!


Some people were pretty upset that he didn't win. Well, I wasn't. Haha. I am happy. His ego makes me sick. =) But I am not being biased on my decision. I have my reasons. I do music so there's no way I can be biased on music quality.


So the right question people should ask is...what does it actually take to win the American Idol? Is it just merely singing? We all know that it's based on votes so there's no set criteria. But I think the Americans know better. You see, take a good look at the competition's name. American IDOL. An American Idol should be a person who not only sings well but also have the positive qualities for people to look up to. In other words, an American Idol IS inevitably a role model, someone to represent the American community. I do believe no one in America would want to choose someone to represent them and send out the wrong message to their own younger generation and to the world as well. They've got enough of bad publicity anyway.


There are many things to look at actually. If we judge solely on singing, of course, the clear winner would be Adam. Adam's intonation is undoubtedly flawless. But if you were to judge on versatility, Kris Allen beats him hands down. Kris can play the piano and the guitar and he can adapt to any kind of genre. Adam is pretty much confined to rock only. Personality wise, Kris is also better. He's really down-to-earth. Just look at him when he won! Such genuine laid back, humbleness is very appealing. And that is why he took the American Idol title by storm. Because nobody noticed him in the first place. Nobody would've expected him to even make it to the top 3! Only people who deeply understand music notices him. Truly, he was the dark horse in the competition. Anyway, Kris Allen appeals to both the young and the old audience, making him more sellable than Adam. =) I think I can be the next Simon Cowell.


I don't like Adam's style of singing cos he tends to overdo it. Like what Mr. Ant used to say, too much icing on the cake makes you sick. He tends to be too showy with all that high pitch thing going on. Too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. There must be balance and I am a true believer of it. And by the way, No Boundaries is more suitable for Kris Allen. It's more for a 'soothing' voice. Adam has a voice suitable for the Old School Classic Rock (think Aerosmith people). Kris Allen's voice delivers the message of the song better.


So people, please vote for Kris Allen's version of No Boundaries if you think it suits him better!! Go to hitz.fm's website. Or else, they're not gona play Kris Allen's version anymore. =( Please don't be bias.


Bottom line is, I don't think we should judge the American Idol just on singing alone (well, at the LAST stage of the competition, that is). We have to bear in mind that the American Idol represents the community and that person has to be someone that is a good example for people (especially the younger generation) to look up to.


So that's my debate. =)

Possum-esque

So I lied when I said that I'll disappear for awhile.

Seasoned By Salt, Seasoned by Experience

I've got a new found hobby.

Travelling.

I never actually thought of myself as a traveller but recently, after the trips to Sibu and also to Sabah, I see the traveller in me.

Such an experience travelling is! Seeing the world...it makes you see things in a different light. Makes you ask questions too. Like...how do these people live? What do they do for entertainment? So much to ask. I for one, do not enjoy the life of the city so much. I don't like staying one whole week in KL. I am more of enjoying the outdoors like the mountains and beach of Sabah, having a breath-taking view and fresh air, that is the ideal vacation for me. I think one should have a fair share of the urban and suburban life. In Sabah, that's the best place to go to and worth staying one week for. With the beach, the mountains, night clubs and also the shopping malls, one can be entertained in just one state.

Truly, Sabah is amazing. =)

I disappear for a while. Will be back with updates. =D

I disappear for a while. Will be back with updates. =D

Let Truth Be Told!

Just now at class, Zain's at it again. Flirting and trying to get my number or ask me out for dinner. It's so hard to do it all over again. Rejecting. It's such a hard thing to do without being harsh. Well, I managed not being harsh but he still doesn't get it.


He wanted me to have dinner with him. At McDonald's. It's so tempting to say 'yes'. Cos he's really handsome. He really is. But I know I can't. I know when he wants to ask me out. Before I hesitate, I would give a 'no'. Because if I hesitate, I will say 'yes'. Even though he said to go out as friends just now, I don't want to. Simply because I know it is a harmless trap set up so that I would have feelings for him and give me a chance for me to throw myself at him. I know that. I'm sure you know that too. When you hang out with someone of the opposite sex and get close to them, you are bound to have 'feelings' for them. You'd be lying if you say that's not true. It's plain and simple human nature and 'gospel truth'.


Truth is, I like him only for his looks. Other than that, no. He's a nice guy, yeah. But everytime I reject him, he'd say I'm mean. He means it as a joke but I feel bad when he says so. I feel sorry for rejecting him when he says that and makes me think twice. But it's just his gimmick on me. He KNOWS I'm nice. And he kinda uses it to manipulate me. I don't like it at all. That's why I don't like him. He makes me feel bad and somtimes, humiliate me in front of people without him realising it.


I'm sorry I have to reject you. I'm sorry that I make you crazy. I'm sorry that you love my smiles. I'm sorry that I blow your mind. If I could dissappear and make you stop hoping, I would cos it's difficult on me too.


You only want to put me into a position where I am most vulnerable so that I'll go for you. But the thing is, I wish I could love you for you. Not just your looks.


Besides, my heart is captivated by the one guy who makes me love him genuinely for being himself. He may not be as good-looking as you, Zain, but he sure does have better qualities than you. Hope you understand.


Friends, do pray for me so that I won't fall into temptation. I need the wisdom and endurance for this. Cos it's really not easy. =(


Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start


-The Scientist, Coldplay-

Story of The New G

By the way, Green Chords' video is finally up!

Enjoy!